Before I start, this isn’t a medical blog on the need for urination within our systems or anything like that. We all know that urinating is one of the ways our bodies release toxins and help to cleanse the body of waste. We know that the colour of our urine is important. The clearer the better.
This blog is more about the inconvenience of the need to pee. About when the urge takes you and why. It’s also from a female point of view because most men I know appear to be camels. They take loads of fluid on board and never seem to need to pee. Until they are on their way home and a local hedge gets it.
I don’t remember being toilet trained or anything like that, although, I assume it happened. What I remember from primary school is that our toilet was outside and contained paper that scraped the skin off you. It was like tracing paper (do you still even get that?). One thing that everyone learned, don’t do a poo at school. It wasn’t worth the pain of the scrape of the paper. At least at home, even if your mum had the cheapest toilet paper, it was softer than that at the school.
In secondary, we had softer paper. Although, most of it ended up being soaked in the sink and launched against the ceiling where it stuck. This meant, if you needed to go in the afternoon, there was likely no toilet roll to wipe with. There were times when that scratchy stuff from primary would have been welcomed. Carrying a wee packet of Handy Andies became the norm. Plus they were soft. Getting home after school often included a rush into the bathroom for some sort of evacuation.
It seemed taboo to have a poo in school. Mary had a shit at lunch time. Mary is not real, at least not in my school years, but that was the sort of thing that went on. Imagine having a normal bodily function. It was the school years though. A couple of decades and we would all realise that when you have to go then you go, no point in trying to delay it.
Have you ever heard of the term “breaking the seal” in terms of going for a pee? I learned about it not long after I started clubbing and drinking. This was at a young age as well, before twenty. It was some sort of phenomenon. You could enter a club at eleven at night, drink and drink and drink and not need a pee. Then suddenly you would and this was terrible. It was the worst thing to happen on a night out. You’d tell a pal that you needed to pee. She’d look horrified. You couldn’t do it. Why? Because, once you’d gone for that first pee then the seal was broken and every twenty minutes from then until you went home, you’d have to pee. Even waiting in the taxi queue, the sensation would arrive again. It made you sweat and cross your legs. Good self control got you home.
Despite it happening once, we did it again and again. The boys would go all night without a pee, not the girls though. Or maybe the boys were just able to go more often without being noticed given that they could go on their own. It wasn’t an expedition. Not for us girls though. It had to be at least two at a time. The other thing was that every time we went, we peed like racehorses, even if we’d just been ten minute before. Nightmare!
Move on a bit. Become about forty. I’ve always drank water well. I can’t, and won’t, drink those energy drinks that are available. I’ve always believed that water is the best energy drink is water. Some say milk. I can’t drink milk on its own, so I stick to water. Water cleanses your body and helps organs to flush out the body of toxins, particularly the kidneys and it helps the old liver as well. It helps the kidneys and others to function.
During my years in the Care Industry, I realised how hot our work was and how hard we worked. I could down three litres of water in a twelve hour shift and barely pee the whole day. This worried me. Yet, my doctors took tests and everything came back healthy.
However, as I grew a bit older, I stopped clubbing and that whole breaking the seal thing faded into the past.
Until I experienced “getting up during the night”.
When I go to bed, I go for a pee before I tuck in. My bed time varies from half ten to half two, depending on what I am doing. I will, though, always go for a pee before I get under the duvet and curl up. A huge acheivement is falling asleep before needing another pee. This is major in terms of sleep.
Then welcome six AM. It’s generally about the same time EVERY morning. I waken and I am bursting. Do I get up and go? No.
Why? Well, it would make sense to just get up and feel my way about in the darkness and have a pee, then return to bed and nod off again, which I know I would do. However, I’m cosy and warm and I don’t want to. So, I lie there, for about an hour, trying to decide what to do. Get up or stay put? In reality, if I’d just got up when I first woke, I would have been back asleep within ten minutes.
Instead, I’ve hung it out for an hour. In that time I’ve faffed around on my phone, put the radio on and by the time I go for a pee I’m wide awake and when I return then I can’t get properly comfy again and a debate on the radio will have taken my attention. I’ll drift off again about half eight. About two hours from when I intially woke.