Blind Leading the Blind

I think there comes a point when you pretty much realise that you are completely ready for lockdown to be over and are ready to return to work and some sort of normality.

My point of realisation was last week when I was stood in the bedroom with the window blind wrapped around my head.  In a fit of spring cleaning surprise I decided the windows needed a good clean and when I got to the bedroom I was at that stage when I just wanted it to be over.

I pulled the cord to raise the blind so that I could get access to the window and then CRACK and the slats are settling around my shoulders, ears, nose and generally slicing into my face.

After standing for about a minute thinking that this is IT! I finally decided to un-slat myself and see the damage.  The damage was total.  The bracket had snapped and the actual blind casing had snapped as well.

In a fit of slight rage I headed up the ladder, yanked the bit still attached to the wall out and carried the whole lot outside and threw it behind the wheelie bins.  BASTARD BLIND.

Once back inside I reminded myself that it’s an old blind.  In my last house I’d been doing the dishes at the kitchen sink when, out of nowhere, the old roller blind dislodged itself from it brackets and splooshed into the dishwater.  There may be something going on with myself and blinds.  There’s further evidence of this coming up…

With no blind in the way then there was no excuse not to clean the window, it was there, just blind free.

Next came the buying of a new blind.  I had to consider now having a blind at all.  The curtains are good, they make the room dark enough without it being blackout.  I’d also just rehung them with new hooks so they were as good as new.

Deciding not to be hasty I went to bed that night with just the curtains closed and it wasn’t bad.  I had to think about this.  I could have no blind, but that meant closing the curtains if the sun was shining in, I was going for a snooze or getting changed.  I’d rather just turn the blind for a moment.  Plus you can adjust a venetian blind to allow for light coming in.

I briefly considered a roller blind but it seemed a bit pointless because it would either have to be up or down, there was no flexibility.  Not like with a venetian and I like my flexibilty.  I have neighbours with curtains and no blinds and others with roller blinds and no curtains and none of them ever open up.  They seem to live like moles, living in a semi-darkness.  I don’t know about anyone else but I need daylight in my life, especially if there are days when I’m not out much in these times of the virus.

Out came the measuring tape.  I know the dimensions of this window but always best to check.  I measured, noted it down and went to order my new venetian blind.  The window is a pretty standard size so not many alterations need to be made.  Apparently.

Fast forward to a week later and the blind has arrived.  Fitting it should be easy, I mean easy peasy because the previous blinds fittings are still there, I checked and they weren’t broken and as this blind was just a replica of the old one then there should be no problem.

No problem.

The support bracket in the middle of the blind had changed sides in this new blind.  The slot it should fit into was on the right hand side if the blind whereas the old one it had been on the left.  I had been so optimistic that they wouldn’t have changed the side of the support bracket that I hadn’t taken the old one down.


I should point out here that I inhertited something from my dad called “Instructions? Pffft”.  It generally works.  Not this time.

A lot of faffing about later and the blind is fitted.  Wahey.  Wa-no.  I let the blind down like in some sort of unveiling of a new plaque…the drop was too short.  WHAT? How the fridge could it be too short? I MEASURED it.  (Insert some joke about men telling women about the length of things being longer than they are).

I’ve got wine for later.  I reminded myself and set about sorting it.  Wine.

Now I am sitting on my little two seater sofa in my bedroom, the blind (and the rest of the window) behind me.  There’s a glass of wine on the TV table beside me and I know that I am ready for this lockdown to be entirely over.  I’m ready to go back to sitting in a stuffy office.  It might seem frivolous to think this way.  Around me I see people returning to pubs, playgrounds, non-essential shops.

All I’ve wanted is to get back to my job and for the library to be open so I can carry on with reading all of Muriel Spark’s books and head on to my next conquest.

It took being slatted by the old blind for me to realise that I can’t go on much longer living in this world where we just aren’t sure about anything.  COVID-19 has knocked us all back in some way or another and if we don’t get going soon some of us may not get going again at all.  We need to support each other (unlike the old blind) and make sure we are there to help each other.  Look out for that pal who is standing with the slats around their head and help them with their new venetian.